Cultivating Self-Love

Did you know that self-love is a human necessity? 

You’ve probably heard many idols and influencers encouraging you to love yourself, through singing, speaking, writing, and many other mediums. 

But what is self-love? Why is it important and how is it practiced?

Well, it is important to realize that the practice of self-love can differ from person to person, but the foundation is typically the same for everyone. 

Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect that you show others.

As people, we tend to expect a lot from ourselves; we set goals and visions and are driven to achieve them. But of course, things don’t always go as planned. Or, we can get so caught up in the grind that we forget we’re not made to work endlessly. In times like these, it's easy to get upset and downtalk/criticize ourselves or get so immersed in what we’re striving to achieve that we don’t take enough time to unwind and rest. 

Self-love is acknowledging that our bodies work hard. We work hard. And just as you would tell your friends and family to take a break, you should be doing the same with yourself. Just as you would reaffirm their accomplishments and cheer them on, you should do the same with yourself. 

When things go wrong, focus on what went right - and use that mindset to prove to yourself that you are capable. 

Build trust.

All relationships require trust. But in order to trust others, you must first trust yourself. 

The first step in trusting yourself is to only compare yourself to you.

When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves as we don’t know the other person’s circumstances, abilities, and background. The only realistic way to measure our growth and success is to compare ourselves to previous versions of ourselves. 

A great way to do this is by keeping track of your activities, feelings, and accomplishments by journaling or other means of keeping record.

Another important step in building trust is allowing ourselves to make mistakes. 

Of course, as unpleasant as mistakes can be (as well as their consequences), they are a vital part of our growth. With how the lifestyles of influencers, celebrities, and others whom we desire to be like are depicted flawlessly on social media, we can often feel like everything we do also needs to be perfect. We become scared of making decisions and this limits our growth as we begin to avoid trying new things. You may think you are avoiding the errors that come with novelty and uncertainty, but this is a dangerous mindset. 

Mistakes not only help us improve and grow, but they also help us learn more about ourselves and our capabilities. And by learning more about ourselves, only then can we trust our decisions and our ability to handle the risks that come with the choices we make. 

After all, no one knows you better than you. Trust yourself to make the best choices for you. 

Be true to you.

Following trends and altering our behaviour in different situations is human nature; we innately seek social acceptance and pursue different ways of achieving that. 

However, we should avoid losing who we are or suppressing our real interests, hobbies, and personalities just to ‘fit in.’ Learn to take pride in our individuality! Hiding the true you to assimilate into a group or trying to be different just to please others can drastically reduce self-confidence and self-trust. 

Surround yourself with people whose presence you find comforting. People who know you can be vulnerable around. This will strengthen your confidence and boost your self-love!

Set boundaries: 

You may hear this one a lot, and that’s for a reason. Boundaries are mechanisms of maintaining emotional and mental health. Without clear boundaries, it's easy to over-commit, overwork, and burn out, therefore leading to low self-esteem and self-worth.

Be sure to clearly communicate your boundaries to others as soon as possible, whether you’re at work, hanging out with friends, engaged in a group assignment/project or in any other circumstance. Remain consistent to ensure others respect your time and space. Boundaries also allow for a healthy schedule and self-care, therefore boosting wellbeing. 

Find time for self-improvement or strength building:

With healthy schedules and self-care comes time for self-improvement and reflection. A great way to cultivate self-love is through productivity and building good habits. Taking time to meditate, identify areas of strength and improvement to set short-term goals, conduct digital detoxes, and adopt a hobby or two can lead to a greater sense of self-fulfillment. 

Of course, it's also important to treat yourself! Hobbies, detoxes, and short-term goals allow for tangible results. They display your capabilities, serve as motivators, and are fundamental building blocks to loving you.

We hope these tips are able to help you cultivate self-love within yourself!