The 3 Major Components of Self-Advocacy
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Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash
Guest Post by Sunandini Verma. Read more about Sunandini here.
There are concepts in our conditioning that holds us back from being transparent in our views and our selves. Being sure of yourself and having confidence in your self, are all forms of self advocacy. I believe three major components that make up the formula for pure self advocacy, deservingness, clarity and lack of fear.
1) Deservingness- The quality of being deserving
When we know what we want, we don’t second guess ourselves and this comes from a complete focus on yourself. You have to know who you are and know what you deserve. A lot of people are lost in figuring out what they deserve because they are not in tune with their inner self. An important part of that journey is tied to going inward and understanding “Who am I really?”. We often turn to the external world, places, people and things to define who we are. We allow things and people to define what we should want from our lives. Anything that is a variable to change CANNOT define you and what you deserve. You will only get what you think you deserve and the degree of this is altered by what you think you deserve. The clearer you are, on who you are, what you want from you life, the less you are unaffected by outer factors to define what you deserve.
Often we second guess our choices, our decisions and the things we do. This can only happen when you act out of being unsure. Second guessing yourself is having a gap between who you are, who you think you are, and who you think you need to be in each moment. When you are sure of who you are and in your assurity of that person, there is no room to second guess anything, including what you deserve.
Deservingness is also impacted by the effort you put in.
If you know your WORK, you know your WORTH.
I’m not saying, be an expert at all things, but definitely be great at what you do. You have to know your output is great, to know you deserve that title, that pay and that recognition. Passionate experts know their worth, because they know their work. If you are able to work at your craft, you build confidence in knowing.
Hear Sunandini speak on November 28th!
2) Clarity- Knowing what you want.
You can gain an extreme sense of clarity by knowing what it is that you excel in. If you’re someone who is unclear on your skill set, there will be confusion. However, I am a believer in LOVING confusion. Having experiences in our life that we don’t want, push us to know what we do. Confusion on personal and professional levels, always leads to an elevated version of yourself. I really like to push meditation as a tool for clarity. I see that the more focused we are in our minds, we are clearer on what it is we have to offer. Once you are able to define your skill set, you are able to provide that same clarity to others. When we operate from clarity, we stop attracting confused people, or half in, half out clients, or situationships. Know what you want, have that clarity, so that you can attract what you want. Clarity isn’t the same as deservingness, because if you think you deserve unclear concepts, you will attract that too. Love the confusion you are faced with, that will lead to another degree of clarity.
3) Lack of Fear- The false idea of danger
Fear is created through EGO. Ego isn’t “I’m better than you.” Ego is actually the false pretences in our mind which hold us back-yes eve “I’m better than you,” is just that. Ego is the part of our mind which sends false messages to hold us back from expanding. Spiritual growth, emotional expansion, reaching success, are all positive feelings that are not able to process when we operate from ego. Ego holds us back by addressing things like fear. Fear of failure, rejection, better less than others etc. However, that same ego, when broken, can be the catapult we need to go to the next degree of who we are. Every culture, religion, practise, concept- you name it- says break your ego. This is why, your evolution starts at breaking your ego, so you can be fearless. Fear can on the other hand be positive, if it motivates you. But, since that fear is artificial, that motivation doesn’t have a strong foundation either. It will fade out quickly, since the negative energy in fear will take over. Letting go of fear is the key component to self advocacy. When you feel delusional fear come up, address and and urge yourself to be defined by this concept that DOESN’T EXIST. Let’s stop giving power to things that are not real. Becoming fearless, allows you to be present, accept the situation and moment as it is, and operate with logic in situations rather than a negative emotion. My tip- be present and fear of the unknown cannot exist.
I hope through working through our individual blocks, we are able to pivot into an elevated version of ourselves that knows what we deserve, has clarity and operates from the lack of fear. I believe self reflection, focus and meditation are excellent tools to simplify one's' journey to self advocacy.
