The Importance of Fierce Conversations

The year 2020 was not for the faint of heart. It embraced the meaning of the word challenge and introduced us all to new fears, roadblocks, and anxieties.  Further,  it has forced us to address some of our deepest insecurities without so much as a warning. 

As someone that typically does not do well with confrontation, this last year has forced me to stop being okay with things that I am really not okay with.  I refer to those things within my control of course, (I am not superwomen over here). 

As a result of the circumstances over the past 12 months, I weirdly felt more at peace with things like setting boundaries with others including saying ‘no’ and not making excuses. And just in case no one has told you yet today, let me be the first.  You are incredibly strong and resilient just for being here, still in the game, and adapting on the fly to the most uncertain time we have faced in generations. Congratulations! 

Ready to learn about some of the tools I have had to master in order to have fierce conversations with those closest to me? Keep scrolling for three of the biggest tips for mastering challenging conversations. 

The Importance of Setting Boundaries 

Before the onset of COVID-19, I worked in an office, saw friends throughout the week, and graced my parents with my presence on the weekends. Over the course of the last year, the application of boundaries I have set personally and professionally has continued to grow over time, unlike the number of things I would actually push these boundaries for, which has shrunk. 

Although having been forced to set and follow through on these new-found boundaries, it was initially a challenge, after a few months I felt relieved and empowered for being able to say ‘no’ to things that I would have typically said ‘yes’ to in the past, often out of fear or obligation. 

As we work towards the light and emerge from the COVID-19 tunnel this will be one of the biggest takeaways for me personally. In the future, I will no longer be afraid to say ‘no’, and I will continue to set and exercise boundaries in all settings. 

Direct > Fluffiness 

One of the biggest challenges I personally have is facing difficult conversations.  This is particularly evident when I need to tell someone something that I expect they will have difficulty understanding. 

Being direct can be difficult. That being said, when faced with a tough conversation, I have learned that many people really appreciate directness in conversations while others may need a bit of a warm-up before getting to the point. 

When facing challenging conversations,  whether the subject is COVID-19, relationships, career, or whatever the topic may be, it’s always best to convey confidence by removing the “fluff” and getting directly to the point. Although often difficult and uncomfortable, at the end of the day, you will appreciate the conversation more if you are direct in your communication. Being direct will ensure you say what you need to, and that the other party hears you, rather than them trying to glean your message from all the fluffiness! 

Expect a Positive Outcome 

“What you think about you bring about…” 

If you go into a conversation thinking it will be challenging, upsetting, or difficult, chances are it will be. In effect, a classic self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are at all like me, and really have a hard time dealing effectively with conflict, this piece of advice may just be your saving grace! 

When you enter a conversation with your attention focused on a mutually positive outcome,  your inner dialogue, and the way you communicate will trend towards more positive outcomes. Eventually, the hope is that having these types of conversations and dealing with conflict in its varying forms, will become easier, less stressful, and more satisfying…that’s the hope anyway!

Ladies, we need to stop feigning away from tough situations. If our current environment has taught us anything, it’s that we can weather a storm. These are three tools that I have found to be very impactful when communicating with others in both personal and professional settings. 

Are there any challenging conversations you found yourself having as a result of COVID-19? Do you wish you had the conversation earlier (pre-COVID-19 perhaps?)?

Share with us in the comments!